


Puppy Dog Days

by idkwriteshitdown



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dog!Diego, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkwriteshitdown/pseuds/idkwriteshitdown
Summary: “Uh, is this a weird sex thing?” Klaus asked. “I’m not judging, it’s just that this is weird even by your standards.”---Or Diego gets into some trouble at The Commission. His family has to deal with the consequences.
Kudos: 20





	Puppy Dog Days

“Uh, is this a weird sex thing?” Klaus asked. “I’m not judging, it’s just that this is weird even by your standards.”

Five looked up from his book. “Oh good you’re back.” 

Vanya peeked around Klaus to see what he was looking at. Five was sat on the couch reading a book. That in itself wasn’t strange. Now that he didn’t have to worry about trying to stop any impending apocalypse he was often found reading. ‘You’d be surprised at how few books survived the apocalypse’ he had said. What was strange was that their brother. Their stoic wannabe badass brother was curled up on the couch with his head resting on Five’s lap. His head on Five’s lap. Five I-don’t-want-to-be-touched lap.

“Vanya. Are you sure we didn’t get slipped anything at that coffee shop because it looks to me that Five is lovingly petting Diego.” He shoved his arm in front of her face. “Here pinch me.”

Five let out an annoyed sigh. “I would say that you aren’t on drugs but I can never be sure of that.”

“I take offense to that statement.” Klaus said. “I haven’t taken anything stronger than cough syrup.”

“Anyways,” He interrupted. “Diego here, our loveable idiot, touched something that he wasn’t supposed to touch in The Commission and now, for all intents and purposes, has the mind of a dog.” 

At the mention of his name Diego looked up. turned around on the couch so that he was laying on his back looking up at Five with a lazy expression on his face. Now that he moved she could see that he had a pretty unassuming black leather collar around his neck. She stepped closer to the duo crouching down to look at the tag. Dog it read. She knew that Diego had started visiting The Commission much to Five’s dismay. Apparently he liked the ‘celebrity treatment’ that he got there.

“Can it be fixed?” She asked.

“Yes.” he said. “It’s this dumb collar that’s making him this way.”

“Well why don’t you just take it off?” Klaus asked reaching for it. “Seems pretty simple -- OW” He yanked his hand to his chest. “You hit me.” He mock glared at Five. “That hurt.”

“Please, it was only a tap. Besides if it were that easy I would’ve done it already.” Five sneered. “It’s more complicated than that. It’s not just a collar just like these briefcases are not just a briefcase. I’d explain how it works, but neither of you are smart enough to understand. What I need you two to do is keep an eye on him so I can go to The Commission and figure out how to take this thing off him without making him any more stupid than he already is.”

He looked down at Diego who was still smiling up at him. “Isn’t that right.” He cooed. “Don’t you want to be human again.” Diego made a playful noise tongue lolling out.

He turned back to Klaus and Vanya. “He can walk sometimes, but most times he’ll sit on the floor. He is potty trained and he does know how to say a few words. Don’t give him any knives and try not to let him get hit by a car.” He looked back at Diego rubbing his head. “Now be a good boy for your brother and sister.” He popped out of the room. 

“Well this is cool.” Klaus said flopping on to the vacated seat. 

“This is weird, that’s what this is.” Vanya said. Diego tilted his head giving her a look before bumping his head against her arm. “What do we do?”

“I think he wants you to pet him.” Klaus laughed. 

“I’m not going to pet him.” she said. “He’s our brother.”

“Yeah our brother who really wants you to pet him.” Klaus grabbed the sides of Diego’s face. “How can you say no to those doe eyes.” Both Diego and Klaus pouted up at her. 

“This is so weird.” She said reaching out to rub awkwardly at Diego’s head. He gave a small bark and grinned at her.

“Oh look he makes noises.” Klaus crowed. “That’s so cute. I wonder if he plays fetch. Hold on I’ll grab a ball.” He ran out of the room.

“Just you and me then huh.” Vanya studied Diego. The collar around his neck oddly suited him. It matched his all black attire that he insisted on wearing all the time. Looking at his attire she saw that it wasn’t what he usually wore. Diego almost never wore shorts yet here he was wearing loose black shorts and a baggy black t-shirt. She also noticed that his hair was held back from his face with the use of bobby pins. “Boy did the guys at the commission sure did have a field day with you didn’t they.” 

Diego huffed and rested his head on his hands which she could now see were manicured instead of their usual bitten off state.

“You’re actually kinda cute like this.” She grinned and moved to scratch behind his ear. Diego in turn moved so he was facing away from her. “Awe don’t be mad.” She laughed. “I’m sure you’ll make a ferocious guard dog.”

“I’m baaack.” Klaus sang as he bounded into the room. Both Diego and Vanya turned to look at him. “I didn’t know what he would like to play with so I got a bunch of different things.”

“Yeah I can see that.” She said. He had in his arms three different sized balls, a rope, some clothes, and a slipper. “A slipper?” She asked.

“It’s Five’s” he said. “Dogs love to chew on stuff. Don’t you boy.” He blew kisses at Diego. “Come on. Let’s go outside. You want outsies?” Diego hopped off the couch to follow him looking curiously at the stuff in Klaus’s hands. 

Vanya rolled her eyes. “I’ll go get the door.” She said jogging ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to check it out, [here](https://idkwriteshitdown.tumblr.com/post/631015184948936704/puppy-dog-days) is a link to the same fic on my tumblr. There's also other stuff like drawings.


End file.
